This is me… My heart pouring out!!!!

This is my and the excitement that I just can’t contain. I know I promised only write about thing that make you laugh but I just had to put this out there.

Waste the Money

Everyone knows that the cost of gas is pretty high compared to the cost of it 8 years ago. Well growing up my mom would let us kids pump the gas. Not exactly sure why we loved to pump the gas so much, because I would prefer Joel fill my car up every time rather than having to it. ( gas stinks) On this particular day my youngest brother who was about 9 at the time was fill up my mother HUGE conversion van at one of the busiest gas station in our area. While my mother went inside to pay for the gas my brother finished putting in the $20.00 or so into the van. My mother sitting in the driver seat asked my brother it everything was good to go he said “yes!!” so she cranked up the van and started to drive away. She  heard a huge noise and thought she had hit something looking in the side mirror she saw the gas pump leaning, the hose was coming out of the van, and the gas pump pouring gas all over the parking lot. By the time the attendant turned off the pump almost $200.00 of gas has poured all over the parking lot. Everyone was stuck at the station until the firefighters arrived to clean up the mess. The gas station was closed for the next week and the total cost to the entire accident was about $2000.00. Word of advice ALWAY put the gas nozzle back on the pump.Needless to say there was never dull moment in my childhood.

It has been awhile….

It has been a forever since I have had time to really think of something to write. I started out with funny stories and will still add them as life brings it my way. Here is a little something that happened last night.

Being a stay at home mom means that you are home alone a lot with the kids. I don’t mind being home with them alone I just don’t like being at home all night without Joel home. (it RARELY ever happens) Madalynn is starting to say the cutest things and is growing up way to fast. Last night I was in the kitchen cooking dinner and had Hannah Montana turned up on the ipod so the girls would dance and sing in the living room allowing me to quickly finish supper by myself without any little helpers. When Madalynn comes into the kitchen and says “Mommy the man tooted!!” “what man?” I asked her. She look at me and said “the man in the living room!!” Well needless to say my heart stopped because Joel was at work and well the only weapon I had in my had was a pot holder. After I had my heart attack I peaked around the corner where Maddie was now standing and she said “see Mommy he is tooting!” She was now standing in front of the TV where the bass of the song was “tooting”. It is funny how little things kids say that make us scared to death then in seconds we laugh and just give them a big hug and thank God for every second we have with them.

Mmmmm!!!! Is that good?

Joel and I were at Wal-mart in Cartersville standing in the return line. We all know the line for returns is always long. The lady in front of us had a little girl with her. The girl had to be about three years old and was dressed very homely as was the lady with her. The little one was sitting in the buggy’s child seat with a tube of Chapstick in her hand. As we watch her she would stick her finger in the Chapstick tube and scoop out some of the insides then eat it. After the third time of doing it I said to the lady ” excuse me, but she is eating the Chapstick” and with out missing a beat the woman said ” yea!! she likes to eat it so we give it to her as a treat.” I turned, and the lady behind me was looking as confused as I was. I couldn’t believe what I just heard, but at least they must be rich because she is the only person it the world who can poop wax for candles or better yet more Chapstick.

What is taking so long????

Heard this story and thought it was worth sharing…..funny as well…

My aunt went shopping with her three kids one day. Her youngest Peter who is five at the time had to go to the bathroom. Now all the mom’s and dad’s out there know when you are shopping alone with the kids you take them in the bathroom with you. Well Peter asked if he could go into the men’s bathroom alone. My aunt thought about it for a minute and said “ok but I will be standing right here outside the door waiting for you. Don’t talk to strangers and wash your hands.” Peter went in the restroom and she waited with the other children outside the door. Men would go in and come out but still no sign of Peter. She just figured he had to GO GO to the bathroom (you know poop) so she waited a little longer. Just as she started to get worried he came out of the bathroom my aunt said ” Peter what took you so long honey” Peter turned to her and said (now keep in mind this is a five year old boy alone in the men’s room at the mall) ” well I had to find someone to wipe me!!! MOM!!!!” My anut said she couldn’t get the kids out of the mall fast enough.  Now image if you were in the bathroom and some pour kid is in the stall asking everyone in the bathroom “can you wipe me” What would you do? Somewhere out there is a stranger who helped out my cousin by wiping a strange kids butt. Have a good day!!!

The power of God…

I just want to share the power that God has for us when we least expect it. Before Joel and I got married he told me the importance about tithing. He told me that God will bless you when you give back to Him what He has given you. I started to tithe every pay check which was not much but I still gave with a giving heart. One morning while running late for church Joel and I were backing out of my parent driveway he ran into the side of my dad demo truck. Now for those of you who don’t know my dad worked a Marietta Dodge and drove a new demo. The damage was going to cost us $450.00 that we did not have. I was praying for God to show me how we were going to pay for the repairs on our salary while trying to save for the down payment for our apartment. But we all know that God is  good. About two days after the accident I was getting on I-75 at Wade Green heading north to meet a friend. While driving behind a big rig I saw something flying in the air. I kept on going and as I thought about it I said to myself ” was that money flying around” so I got off the next exit and circled back around. When I go back on the  ramp there it was again. I pulled over and got out of the car only to see four $100 bill and one $50 bill in the grass. With all the traffic that goes by no one else saw the money. It was the exact amount that we need to have the car fixed. Now nothing like this has ever happened to me again but I know that God is so good to us. We still tithe and have see His power in other ways and we will continue to give Him back what He has given to us.

Spit up in the mouth

There is nothing better then watching a baby spit up in your husbands mouth…. When Joel and I were dating he was playing with a little boy my mother was watching. Joel would throw him up in the air and Riley loved it. Right when I said “hey he just ate”  he spit up all in his mouth. I was laughing so hard that I couldn’t even help him. When I looked over he had this look on his face,and there was a little bit of gaging going on. Need less to say it made my day…

And I fell in the..

When I told my husband that I was going to start writing a blog he said why don’t you write about the funny stuff that is, has and will happen. Hopefully I have put a few smiles on some faces in the past few days. Now just so you know everything I write about is all TRUE. We live a very busy life with lots of family and friend to create funnies in our lives. Here is a true story that happened when Joel and I were dating enjoy…..

Joel and I had only been dating for  a month when I did something very embarrassing.  When you are  dating someone for that short amount time it is still the impressive stage. You know where you don’t want to act stupid or do something stupid. Everyone who has ever dated know what I am talking about.  One night Joel and I decided to go to his house to watch a movie and eat pizza. I  put on my white workout pants and a t-shirt so I would be comfortable while there. After the movie it was over it was late and he walked me to the door to say goodnight. We hugged and then he turned to head inside and I tuned to step down the three steps. When I turned I missed the step and you got it I fell in the bushes. Laying there flat on my back I was hoping that he would not turn around. As soon I said “please don’t turn around” he, of course turned around but didn’t see me at first. He had the puzzled look on his face, like where is she. He then saw me  lying in the bushesall I could do was laugh. When I got up my pants had mud all over them, mortified I got in my car and left.

It has been almost 5 years since that has happened and we still laugh about it to this day.

Alligators

We are in the process of potty training our two year old daughter. This has been a fairly easy process for us so far. For some reason my mother as taught her that went she poops in the potty that she is really putting alligators in the toilet. Still not quite sure how poop and alligators relate to each other! All I can say is now every time she has to go poop she makes it very clear that there are alligators in pond.(that’s right the pond not the toilet again why? I still don’t know). To make it even better we (her and I) have to blow kisses at them and say “bye alligators, love you, see you later alligator” every time. When we are in the public restrooms and she poops I can here the person in the other stall chuckle. This always makes potty time really interesting. So next time you are in the women’s restroom keep your ears peeled because we might be in the stall next to you blowing kiss and talking to the poop in the toilet.

Dead in the Subway

This has to be on of the best stories I have hear in a long time……

My sister-in-law’s  best friend Susan went with her daughter Kim 14 to dog sit for a friend. The friend  Amy lives in New York City, so she call to ask if they wanted to come want watch the dog to 2 weeks while she was out of town. Amy said she would pay the airfare for the both of them and also take care of all the expences while there. Susan and Kim jumped on a plane to New York excited about the free vacation. When they arrived at the apartment they could not find the dog anywhere.  Susan knew how much the dog meant to Amy because she had no children the dog was the child. Amy left that morning knowing that Susan and Kim would be arriving later in the day. Kim finally found the dog in the bathroom dead. In a panic they did not know what to do. Susan finally called Amy to let her know the sad news, Amy said ” I have been expecting him to pass, he’s  been sick. Just take him to the  vet and I will call him to let him know I will care of everything when I get back.” They hung up the phone and now had to find a way to carry a 30 pound dog through the city. Susan found a large suit case and loaded the dog inside. While waiting for the Subway train a man came by said ” are you here on vacation?”  Susan wanted the man to just go a way so she told him ” no, we just left a birthday party for my daughter and now we are on the way home.” The man then walked a way and as the train started to pull in to the station the man ran by the two of them and took the suit case. (that’s right the one with the dead dog inside) In shock Susan and Kim now had to call Amy back and let her know what happen. The dog was stolen….. To be a fly on the wall when the man opens the suit case would be priceless. This is a true story!!!!